23/12/2011

guess,nothing changed...im still not important to you,not anymore.

since your no longer replying, guessed this is my last post ba?

your time was never meant for me, so what if i needed you, so what if i missed you, so what till now i still wanna go back to the time when we were still together...you told me you were touched when i found you at your workplace, you told me your sorry for not going home with you, but you never took time to even text or call me...making up to me? haha what a big fat dream that i have there eh? haha...

if i could i would chase you back all around again,this time im sure it will be better but then again,you told me once. you never gave any of your ex a chance, but you broken that streak by giving ryan the chance, but i was never given anything... you asked me what i liked, i was kind of looking forward to receiving a present from you but the best present for me would be you...guess im asking too much ba? haha... dreams are meant to remain as dreams, wishes are never meant to come true, the fact that you never coming back has also become real...

i have been living in denial for 2011 of you never coming back...guess i have to face the fact,i lost my place, i lost myself and i have lost the only treasure i only had. here is something for keeps sake :)


a song that was once my life, has become a song that i feared the most, 想你的習慣 was introduced by you, and i made it my life as to miss you as a habit, but the effort was futile and that missing has broken me down till i can never be what i used to be. if you still remember the message where i said you were a star that guided me to safety whenever i am lost, guess what that star has faded into the sky where i can no longer see it, the star no longer wants to shine nor be a part in my sky

your always wanting to know how i feel right? heres what i really feel now...im broken to pieces, im sad, im suffocating, im dying...all these doesnt matter to you anymore right? haha...of all the things i miss about you were the lips that made me feel the sweetness of life, the hug that made me feel warmth in my life and that very voice of your "laogong wo ai ni, zhi ai ni yi ge"the strength that kept me going no matter what...all of those will , i can never hear, feel nor taste anymore...if time permits, i would like to make you my laopo once again.

-128ve980 laopo wo ai ni, i really need you in my life not as a friend but as my wife. guess these words doesnt mean a thing to you anymore after we broke up eh haha... imaginary angel signing off :)

18/12/2011

doesnt matter past or present , you still will never make time for me even if i went down to see you. you rather let some friend who goes to your work place often to send you home rather than me, who comes once in a twilight. wow the importance is shown, even as a friend i lose out badly , as a boyfriend im worst.

no place for me at all, you can even assume that i have a girlfriend when it was andrew and our friend prank called you. i was hoping you would bother to know what is happening, because the prank was that i had lost my phone. i wanted to see how much you still care for me... guess you dont care le ba? you just hanged the phone in an instance without hesitation, even if i lost my phone it means nothing to you. you can even tell me you have seen my true colours? just assume whatever you want like always , because you feel better that way isnt it? anything that makes you feel better you just take it isnt it?

you didnt know the main reason why i was at orchard didnt you? heres the main reason i hide from everyone, i wanted to see you, i missed you...yet you wouldnt even look me into the eye and just walked off as if you came out just to merely entertained me...



128ve980 - long forgotten , buried as a past

18/12/2011

doesnt matter past or present , you still will never make time for me even if i went down to see you. you rather let some friend who goes to your work place often to send you home rather than me, who comes once in a twilight. wow the importance is shown, even as a friend i lose out badly , as a boyfriend im worst.

no place for me at all, you can even assume that i have a girlfriend when it was andrew and our friend prank called you. i was hoping you would bother to know what is happening, because the prank was that i had lost my phone. i wanted to see how much you still care for me... guess you dont care le ba? you just hanged the phone in an instance without hesitation, even if i lost my phone it means nothing to you. you can even tell me you have seen my true colours? just assume whatever you want like always , because you feel better that way isnt it? anything that makes you feel better you just take it isnt it?

128ve980 - long forgotten , buried as a past

17/12/2011

here i was waiting for a never coming dream to come true...i actually waited for it... treating it as the best christmas present,yet it ends up as a blank cheque as always...when will you start putting away your things and spare some time for me... you will never do that will you? not even once

I'm sorry that i make you lose your world.whatever i try to do just cannot change anything.whenever i sms you ,you give me cold replies?what else can i do?i want to talk on the phone with you yet you said nothing?we seems to change.not as good as last time anymore..i really hate you keep saying about ryan.but you're just not willing to stop it no matter how angry i am.am i right?i saw all your fb posts and i hope you will be happy (:

Hey!this seems like becoming my blog to say what i don't wish to keep in my heart!hehe!hope you will never ever see this.i had been very busy with work and is very tiring .i only can use work to forget about you.i hope you enjoy your xmas! (: i will be working on xmas so that's it !haha

Love,Devil

you finally get to become a girl only for him le ba :) yay you ...no matter how hard i try to get you back, you will just say no right? even meeting up for a simple dinner proves to hard to be true haha...i've changed? arent you sick of it , keep saying that i have changed? when your the one changing towards that guy?

so what if i need you, so what if i still love you, so what if i still wanted you back as my laopo...you wouldnt give coming back to me a chance le ba?

ever since having him in that picture, you just erased my existance off like it was nothing.say that i dont message , you dont care about you. when i did, where were you? busy? shopping for your clothes for the entire week? just sacrificing abit of time for me seems impossible for you, messaging me seems to be a waste of time for you isnt it.

promised that you be that for the outings end up as a lie, a big big lie. my only chance of meeting you, yet you crushed it as if it was nothing... wow, its always about you isnt it? having everyone to orbit around you, i made you my world, but when you left, you left me with nothing, nothing at all. void , loneliness, hatred, rage ,sadness all this emotions made me feel like giving up the whole damn world but you wouldnt care less now wouldnt you? all you need was your ryan all this year isnt it...but all i needed was you but you dont seem to notice it not even now.

so what if you notice now, you wouldnt leave him for me wouldnt you. you told you cant love me because you have him in your heart, but you can go back to him with "me" in your heart? wow , so much for values, you told me how worthless i became over the year, you proved to me i am worst than me you destroyed my world....when i asked for you to save me you would rather stay with him, when he ask for you to save his world, you went there without thinking about me.

i hate it, i hate him, i hate everything...most importantly i hate myself for believing in giving in to the other partner , i would find true love....believing in something as fake as true love is as good as believing in the non-existence god, prayed as i may, prayed as i might, i prayed for your return but it never did happen...

since the day you left , you left with the faith and colours of life, nothing left . no love, no glory,no life....

128ve980 i need you , but you wouldnt ever come back for my sake even if i pleaded wouldnt you.